There’s an old expression: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. These wise words are sometimes mistaken to mean an improbable optimism, denial of reality, or Pollyanna-ism. Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of pessimistic naysayers who chide optimists that they are living in a delusion, and admonish them to stop wasting time pretending nothing bad is happening. They assert that those who glaze everything with sugar would do more to improve their situation if they would just embrace the doom and gloom and stop with the damn singing already.
I think those naysayers have got it a little skewed. Yet, it’s true that it takes more than just ladling sweetness onto a sour situation to make things better.
The world is not full of sparkly unicorns and harp playing forest creatures. Anyone who sits still and ignores a bad situation will only sink deeper, no matter how many affirmations they chatter and how hard they focus on wanting a better world. Some people claim they know a secret and assert mere visualization of what they want will change everything. Here’s a newsflash: Chattering and wanting and denial are not the ways to change things. Done with desperation, these techniques actually reinforce a negative situation. The chatterer is so focused on their desperation that they create an energy/vibration that attracts more of the same.
I think that changing a situation takes a number of simultaneous approaches. And I think these simultaneous approaches work no matter whether the problem is health, finances, love, or employment.
First, know that anger has its uses. Sometimes you have to smash those lemons to kingdom come and yell a little.
Anyone fighting cancer or other illness knows this. If you merely smile sweetly and murmur that things will get better and otherwise act accepting of the way things are now, guess what? More illness.
Get mad. Pitch a fit. Meditate at least daily and tell the illness that it is not welcome, has no part of you, and must leave. I have seen a friend with cancer literally yell at her illness. No comfort here, you damn cancer. No solace here, you damn illness. Get the hell out. If you are scared about finances then take a moment and state out loud what it is you are afraid of and what you want help with. It’s really important to say it out loud. And express your anger about it. You may have done this to yourself; it may have been done to you. You’re mad. It’s OK. Be mad. I had someone dear to me die suddenly and horribly and I yelled a lot. A lot. I still yell sometimes. (FYI: You can scream in your car if you are going down the freeway at 70 mph and no one will hear you).
There have been times when I have been clearing a house of negative spirit and I have had to get really angry and firm and yell at it to leave. Then, and only then would the bastard leave. Roar at the damn thing. You are powerful. You have the upper hand. The vibration you create is one that repels cancer as surely as sage clears out a room.
Second, take positive action. Ask for guidance: what can you do today that will effect your situation? Eat nutritious food? Take a walk? Take a nap? Organize your bank accounts? Write a better resume or CV? Distract yourself and laugh with a comedy film? Listen to music and soak in a tub? After you are done yelling at whatever is causing you discomfort it’s important to take positive forward action. If you are physically struggling, take measures to support your body and healing (eat good food, rest, walk, laugh, hug puppies). If you are dealing with finances, take measures to fix things (send out resumes, call in debts from friends, hug more puppies) or live within the situation (ooh, rice and beans are a balanced protein source!). When you vent your anger and then shift to a proactive state, you direct your energies in a forward motion without denying your pain.
For reasons too deep to get into in this post, when you acknowledge your pain and then shift to proactive forward motion you do your heart a great service. Your heart houses an energy center that reconciles your body's upper and lower energy centers. Your heart works hard for you at the best of times, and in times of stress even more so. So help it out. Vent the negative. Direct it away from you. If you just choke it back down your throat and deny it, the pain literally kills your heart. Is there any wonder we have so much heart disease in this country? Yell. Get it out. Then after you’ve sent the negative away from you, take positive steps forward.
Third, don’t do it alone. Involve a confidant. Ask a friend to be there with you. Now here’s some magic: this is really great if the confidant can physically be next to you, but it works via phone and via social media. And it’s the same for every religion and faith I know: two or more of us together has a synergistic effect on situations. Sit with your friend, literally or virtually, and intend wellness. If you can hold hands or bump foreheads or have physical contact, all the better. And know: Whatever it takes; however it happens; whatever is needed; you will know how, you will recognize what, and you will effect the change you want. Health. Income. Situation change. It’s a bit of a mystery, but doing this exercise with someone else really, really works. Solutions present. Doors open. Paths become clear and less scary.
Fourth (and this is key), be grateful. Be sincerely grateful for what you do have. It might not be what you want for the future but it sure as heck is your present and it’s what you have to work with so be grateful you have the tools you have. The universe loves gratitude. It rejects those who are ungrateful.
1-2-3-4. Wash, rinse, repeat. Do this routine as often as you need to. I think performing this little ritual at least daily when in crisis is optimal.
Will your world change immediately? Well, it could; it might. More likely change will be a process. But every process requires a start. And you can only start from where you are presently.
See you on the road.